The funny thing is I have known of my same sex attraction since the age of 4 while, at the same time, living with parents that "model healthy sexuality to their children and grandchildren.” I grew up in a household that is about as Christian/LCMS as one can get. I attended a Lutheran grade school from grades K - 9, memorized Luther's Catechism, taught Sunday school, and was president of my youth group. I went on to Concordia River Forest/Chicago, was a sound and model student academically and socially, and taught in the Lutheran school system for eleven years - all while trying to "pray the gay away."

It is/was as easy for me to "choose" being gay as it is/was as easy for someone to choose heterosexuality. Please tell me that it is a choice when I have never had any other option for attraction as the majority of people have never had.

After leaving the Lutheran church with honor and dignity as to not cause any embarrassment neither to myself nor to the congregation, I found myself teaching in a much more inviting and compassionate environment in Oak Park where I did not have to hide behind behind a masquerade of pretending. While not planning or pursuing to thrive in such a community, I do know Someone was looking over me and guiding me into a new direction.

I've succeeded in this field throughout my 31 years in education. I have honored the profession of education as much as it has honored me. Awards and accolades have not dodged my efforts, but have fortified and affirmed my call to teach, and, yes, my students and parents throughout those years have met my partner. Let it be known that I am not one, who see themselves locked in a suffocating box of despair over their attraction to people of the same sex."

In my earlier years, I have taught side by side with gay teachers, gay principals, and gay ministers of the Lutheran church. Some were married - some not, but all struggled in the same I did - effortlessly, because the arrogance of the LCMS (as a body) is far more condemning than that of accepting/forgiving.

I would be anxious to honestly go with an open mind, but please don't tell me I made a choice, or that this is my burden in life that Christ provided for me. Smoking is choice. Smoking is a lifestyle. Smoking is an addiction. Being who I am, by nature, is not, since I, like everyone else, am made in God's image. Make sure that anyone who openly smokes and can't turn away from the addiction is turned down at the communion table, because it is ultimately a sin in the eyes of God. That's exactly what the minister did in my home congregation (where I was born, baptized, raised, confirmed, and taught) last month while standing next to my sister and father who received communion. Thanks for the judgement. You make being a Lutheran proud. I'll go where I can be accepted, active, needed, and where I can best serve all of God's people minus the arrogance.

Respectfully,

Jeff Weber