Dear LCMS--

You are just as guilty. You should find as much derision, contempt and sadness with regards to your own actions in the demise of the institution of marriage as you do with the LGBT community, or the SCOTUS or the divorced members of society or single mothers. Merely being faithful to God's word and remaining in unity with fellow Christians does not absolve you from your responsibility to teach what a healthy, loving, and committed relationship looks like between two people.

Now unless I was absent that Sunday, seeing as I have been a member of the LCMS for 50 years, I never once remember someone explicitly preaching from the pulpit or teaching in the Sunday School classroom or inviting congregants to attend a workshop as to what to look for in a life partner. You have failed terribly on this point. I simply do not understand that if this is such a critical and vital bond then why is the sanctity of this relationship not inculcated through the church's teachings from an early age.

The very fabric of what a traditional family looks like has changed. The church should be another tool by which a family is able learn how to foster a viable and healthy life partnering and it should start guiding congregants long before they even say their "I Do's." Sadly enough, skills for identifying what a suitable partner should look like are often not taught by parents. If this is such a hot button for the LCMS then step up to the plate and develop the curriculum.

The very institution of marriage is continuously evolving due to societal changes that I must say are not all inherently bad. For instance, it is no longer necessary for a woman to marry just so that she is guaranteed a roof over her head and someone to take care of her. In fact, I think this evolution actually could be a benefit towards establishing a marriage of equally yoked partners and a foundation of purer love because marriage would no longer be one of necessity but one based on mutual love and a desire to form a bond.

But it is my firm belief that the LCMS has not remained in step with our current culture. I am not asking you to change your beliefs. Rather, the Church has the opportunity to envelop the flock to keep it on the right path through education. My perception however is that when I do hear from the LCMS it is in the form of a passive-aggressive press release and is reactionary in nature rather than proactive. In short, I have just come to expect that the LCMS is just "bitchy" and turned into a bunch of mean spirited separatists that would rather exclude huge segments of the population than to actually seize the opportunity to reach people that need to hear God's word.

I find Rev Bart's musings subjective rather than objective and in some cases just outright unfounded. I went to marriage counseling with my pastor prior to getting married. In hindsight the red flags were going off during each session that we met. Yet, the church agreed to marry us. I am divorced now. Judge me, hate me, stone me, whatever gets you through the night. The LCMS needs to stop rubbing my nose in it and blaming me as the reason for the demise of the institution marriage. God forgave me through the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ. You are not perfect either LCMS. But God also forgives you the LCMS for your shortcomings because maybe just maybe you are falling down on the job too.

As for my LGBT brethren, I have nothing but love for you and a sensitivity for the challenges that you must face. I cannot and will not heap scorn and judgement upon you. You were created in God's image as was I. We are united in that we all came from the same source.

I am extremely disappointed and disillusioned when it comes to the LCMS and its very hands off approach towards explicity teaching, "This is what a Christian lifestyle looks like. These are the skills to use when navigating this world full of choices." We are the "Frozen Chosen." I cannot help but notice that more and more, the LCMS refuses to keep up with societal changes by seeking new methods for embracing the lost and needy and would rather ostracize and marginalize than inform. The very fact that we isolate ourselves and put up walls keeping those people that struggle with their identities and saddening circumstances and need us the most is just so distasteful and maddening. We would rather point the finger of blame than to actually try to make a difference in the world.

There may never be a Supreme Court ruling with regards to the LCMS' responsibility to teach, inform, guide, love, care for all people whether they are like us or not, but I am most certain that Jesus Christ would be the first one to have us sit at his feet to teach and guide us compassionately, bind up our broken hearts and give us second chances even when we fall short of His expectations.

Peace out--