So I am confused by all of your commentary... So if I apostacize myself, could I be forgiven? The only unforgiveable sin, to my understanding, is not believing what Christ has done for me... meaning I don't believe what the Holy Spirit is telling me by his witness - that I am a sinner and Christ has died in my place for my sin and that I am now righteous before God being wrapped in the innocence/purity/righteousness of Christ. So once I come to faith, if by persecution, I deny it publicly... Christ has said he will deny me before His father... therefore I will be judged on my on merits... of which I have none... and therefore will be condemned. But if I confess my sin... repent and ask for forgiveness, Christ says he will in no way turn me away.... So where do we stand? Yes, we should not deny our faith to the World... our witness... our damage to the Church and to the gift Christ has won for me.... Yet, like Peter, we can be restored.... Judas could have been restored if he had repented and asked forgiveness instead of thinking that he was unforgiveable and his sin state of mind lead him to suicide. That likewise takes us to the suicide issue... no chance to ask forgiveness so we assume the victim of suicide is lost to the kingdom.