By Stacey Eising
A summit of family ministry leaders convened at The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS) International Center in St. Louis March 2–3 to discuss the topic of men in the church. In addition to LCMS pastors and other church workers, the 18 who attended included national Synod staff, other Synod leaders, and representatives from Concordia Publishing House and the two LCMS seminaries.
Opening the meeting, the Rev. Andy Becker, manager of family discipleship for the LCMS Office of National Mission, laid out the goals of the group’s time together: to share observations and to develop an understanding of the needs of men in the LCMS — as well as of what is being done to meet those needs and fill any gaps.
A major theme of the summit’s discussion centered around the confessional Lutheran view of men and masculinity — particularly how the LCMS can offer support that constitutes a faithful alternative to some of the secular and non-Lutheran resources currently available, which uphold versions of masculinity that are not always Christ-like or Gospel-focused.
“We need to explore what Gospel-dominant men’s ministry looks like,” said the Rev. Brandon Metcalf, pastor of Zion Lutheran Church in Bethalto, Ill., during the summit’s opening discussion. “I had a whole shelf of men’s ministry books that I had used previously, and I recently determined that I couldn’t use any of them anymore. …
“I see a tremendous need, and I also see that our church body is perfectly equipped for this exact moment.”
Another recurring topic was the hunger of men to be involved in their churches. The Rev. Michael Larson, pastor of Luther Memorial Chapel in Shorewood, Wis., recalled hosting a men’s retreat this past fall at his church. He had expected 20 or 30 men to attend — but 137 came.
Before the summit, participants were asked to speak to men in their life — about why they are or aren’t connected to a congregation, what they think the church does well and what it could do better to support them, and what specific challenges they are facing — and bring feedback to share with the group. During discussion of that feedback, some themes came up repeatedly:
- Much support exists for young men through the end of middle school — but they often fall through the cracks after that.
- There is a lack of intentional efforts within the church to mentor and raise up men.
- Men are willing to be involved, but don’t know how or aren’t being asked.
Some sins that weigh on men, such as pornography use, are not openly addressed in the church, leaving men adrift.
The summit also featured two presentations. The Rev. Dr. Mark Kiessling, director of LCMS Youth Ministry, shared research on the challenges faced by men today, including:
Rising despair among men;
- Declining involvement of fathers in the lives of children (25% of children were being raised in a home without a father in 2023, versus 10% in 1960);
- Rapidly increasing technology use and decreasing in-person friendships;
- A culture of “safety-ism” that has led to decreased independence for children;
- Men falling behind women in acquisition of college degrees and employment; and
- Declining marriage rates.
Kiessling emphasized increasing confusion about what it means to be a man today: “Growing up, I didn’t have a lot of anxiety over what it meant for me to … be a child of God as a man. But today, there are a lot of messages out there that are not necessarily helpful for young men. … Perhaps an area where the church can be helpful is to spend more dedicated time in helping boys and young men and their parents figure this out.”
Daniel Weiss, president of Sexual Integrity Leaders, Inc., presented to the group on the topic of pornography. Weiss emphasized the alarming rates of children targeted by and exposed to pornography at a very young age, and statistics on the rates of pornography use inside and outside of the church — slightly lower among Christians, but still very prevalent. He discussed the impact of pornography on relationships and faith, and on the views of men and women on one another, emphasizing the importance of churches addressing this topic openly and providing support.
“This demonic presentation of sexuality destroys a child’s understanding of sex and relationships — and causes people to fall away from God. Pornography usage makes men feel distant. It’s a message of shame: ‘Now, I’m not lovable. I’m not redeemed.’ That is what the devil whispers all the time. So it keeps people locked in shame and secrecy. … The church has a message of forgiveness and truth and redemption and restoration and transformation, and we’re just sitting on it in a lot of cases,” said Weiss.
The rest of the summit included discussions on the challenges the church has engaging with men, on tangible opportunities to meet the needs of men in the church, on the individuals and groups that are already doing good work in this area, and on what the Synod can do (and encourage others to do) to meet these needs.
This was the second year that LCMS Family Ministry has held a summit, planned as an annual event going forward, with a different topic and focus each year.
“The purpose of the Family Ministry Summit this year was to gather ministry leaders from across our Synod to discuss manhood,” said Becker. “We were able to discuss the challenges men face and the opportunities they have to be leaders in their congregations, homes and communities. Through our discussions, we were able to identify several target areas that will help LCMS Family Ministry build a better plan to serve the men of our Synod.”
Posted March 30, 2026
