By Mary Henrichs
On July 13–14, 10 pastors and mental health counselors gathered at The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS) International Center in St. Louis for leadership training on a retreat model that will serve parents whose children struggle with sexual and/or gender identity confusion. Created and piloted in 2024 and 2025 by the LCMS Office of National Mission’s (ONM’s) Family Ministry alongside the Created Male and Female Task Force, the model seeks to provide Christ-centered comfort and support to parents whose families have been divided over LGBTQ lifestyle choices.
Although the Created Male and Female Task Force was officially concluded at the 69th Regular Convention of the LCMS this past July, the work of the task force — “to aid in identifying and producing resources that … ‘confess the truth boldly and minister compassionately both to those who experience sexual orientation and gender identity issues and those who care for them’” (Res. 5-12) — is continuing through LCMS Family Ministry.
“We want this to have a much broader reach within our church body,” said the Rev. Andy Becker, LCMS Family Ministry director, to those gathered for the training.
The July training sought to equip a first round of LCMS Recognized Service Organizations, leaders and facilitators (many of whom already do work in retreat or mental health ministry) with the tools to return home “and multiply these retreats around the country,” said Deaconess Dr. Tiffany Manor, ONM managing director.
“The need for this kind of care is great. It’s greater than I anticipated,” said the Rev. Dr. Mark D. Rockenbach, professor at Concordia Seminary, St. Louis, and one of the developers of the retreat. When the retreat was first piloted, the number of people on the waitlist was triple the number that could be accommodated.
Rich in God’s Word and worship, the retreat allows parents a space to share their stories. For many parents, Rockenbach explained, this may be the first time they have ever had the chance to do so. Parents in these situations often experience a “disenfranchised grief,” where the loss is “not acknowledged, socially acceptable or public.” Because homosexuality is normalized and often championed by the culture, parents may feel they have nowhere to turn with their pain, intensifying feelings of isolation.
Many participants in the pilot retreats agreed that sharing their stories was one of the most meaningful aspects of the retreat. “[It’s] an opportunity for them to be with other people who have the same struggles … to know they’re not alone, to know that their faith in God and in Christ is important,” said Rockenbach.
Beyond sharing their stories, participants reflect on God’s Word and what it says about sexuality and gender, compassion, and the mercy bought for all people by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Retreats always emphasize that “everyone you meet is someone who has been redeemed by the crucified and risen Christ,” said Rockenbach. During the retreats, LCMS pastors serve as chaplains, with time allotted for individual pastoral care, including Confession and Absolution.
Before leaving the retreat, parents are encouraged to create an action plan appropriate for their family situation. For some, that means trying to reestablish contact with a child in a godly, compassionate way. Others have made plans to start support groups at their home congregation for other parents, friends and family members struggling with this issue.
“The truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is very valuable, and it never goes away,” said Rockenbach. “Even though people try to push against it, it is the very thing that gives us hope, peace, comfort and joy in the midst of the struggles and sufferings we have.”
Rockenbach urges parents not to lose hope: “The research shows that there are a lot of people now who are detransitioning. … We need to think about, how do we set a table for those who left so that they can feel welcome to come back?”
Because of the sensitive nature of these retreats, they may not always be widely broadcast on websites or social media. If you or someone you know would be interested in taking part in a retreat like this, you are encouraged to reach out to your pastor, who will receive email updates when future retreats are scheduled.
Find other resources from LCMS Family Ministry and the Created Male and Female Task Force.
Posted Aug. 24, 2026
